Plotting a Stealth Mission in My Mind...

Maybe Wynonna was right. I remember a few years back reading a story about Wynonna Judd in a magazine. She was taking some major heat from animal activists because she had her dog's vocal chords clipped. They just couldn't imagine how someone who made their living using their vocal chords could do such a deed to an animal.

They apparently didn't have my new neighbors.

I live in a relatively quiet community; however, the houses are very close together. Having a conversation outdoors typically means if your neighbors want to be nosey they'll know what you were just saying. You can imagine if you can hear an outdoor conversation, you can almost certainly hear noises made by outdoor pets.

Don't get me wrong. I like animals. I have a yappy dog myself. I try very hard to make sure she doesn't cause any disturbances, but just by being an animal it is not uncommon that she's going to bark. I understand that, my neighbors understand that. No hard feelings. We all get along in our little bubble just fine.

Enter new people. They have two ginormous labs in their backyard. These two dogs do not care for their new surroundings AT ALL! These dogs fight during the day (literally tear each other's heads off) - I am hearing them snarl and gnash at one another as I type this. And, at night there are long periods of nonstop barking. I'm secretly hoping a large starving coyote wanders into the neighborhood and eats them.

PETA may come picket my yard for this, but I have found myself plotting... my vast array of black clothes are perfect for a night-time ninja mission. Maybe a few well thrown ninja stars will hush them. I've already scoped out areas in my upstairs where I have perfect line of vision and nobody could trace my line of attack back here. A quick slip over the back fence, few stealth moves and I'm sure I could perform the procedure Wynonna had done.

But, alas, I'm too much of a scaredy cat myself. Don't feel like getting picketed by PETA, or going to jail for animal cruelty. So, I guess we'll just have to live out the rest of our days listening to these dogs go at it. My hope is that they'll be stupid and get one more (from my spying missions when I go for walks I have already determined they have these two, plus one lap dog inside which means they are at the limit as decreed by city ordinance). One more shows up and hopefully Animal Control will do something about it. In the meantime, I'll just continue to grit my teeth.