My Stint as a Hobo

I am neurotic enough to have quite a few travel rules. Those of you that know me, know I'm not a really flexible person - rather set some ground rules and then stick to them fairly heavily. So, the predicament I got myself into yesterday is somewhat surprising... and unfortunately a little comical considering it goes against everything in my nature.

You see, I find myself stuck in a hotel in Oklahoma City with nothing more than my work kit and the same clothes I wore yesterday. I finished with my client meetings early yesterday and since I've decided that Oklahoma isn't exactly my favorite vacation destination I thought it would be a nice treat to go home early. Of course, when does anything I do not consist of some sort of oddball shenanigans?

Long story short, I sat in the OKC airport on stand-by for about 9 hours. Planes came and went, many going to Denver... none with me on them. At one point I had somewhat of a mental breakdown, so spent the last few hours sitting there with raccoon eyes from smudged eyeliner/mascara. Here is where I should note that my clothing, make-up, shampoo, etc. has all made it to Denver... while I sit here with a disposable hotel toothbrush and stale coffee. Oh... and did I mention the same clothes I wore (and slept in) yesterday?

When the lady at the ticket desk said, "Oh, don't worry Mrs. Copic, we'll get you home today. Go ahead and check your bags and they'll meet you in Denver."  I should have insisted that I'd gate check everything. Some of you would say "why'd you check your clothes, you idiot? You should have sent your work kit." But that is where I'd say, "Any travelling salesman will tell you they never part with their kit. You can work in clothes from Target, you cannot sell wedding gowns based on drawings of a stickwoman in a poofy skirt." Next you'd ask, "Why didn't you go buy clothes from Target last night?" and I'd say "Because my GPS is in the suitcase that went to Denver and I couldn't venture to far from the airport for fear of never finding my way back!"

I had to sleep in the same dress I wore yesterday. I mean, it was that or sleep in the buff... and after the day I had it would be just my luck the hotel would catch on fire and I'd be standing outside in a bathtowel. If I'd lost the weight of a small wildabeast like I need to that might not be a horrible thing - but in the present state of my body we'll not go there.

And as I put my pantyhose back on this morning, I realized they somehow have a run in them. So yes, I'll be that lovely woman walking through the airport in the same clothes as yesterday, bedhead hair (and not the sexy bedhead) and holes in my stockings. I can't wait to get home and soak in my tub, use every Aveda product I have at my disposal on my hair and put some damn makeup back on! Hopefully the airport gift shop will have some crappy hairbrush I can pay a small fortune for and look a little less like a hobo.

Why can't it be 70 everywhere all the time?

After shovelling about a foot of snow off the driveway to get out, I find myself in sunny So Cal for a sales meeting for work. If it weren't for the pesky earthquakes, fires and mud slides I might actually like this area. It's a beautiful part of the country and the weather is gorgeous - especially if you're used to being blinded by the white glare of the sun bouncing off the snow.

For those of you that follow this who are also clients or industry friends - look out! We have an awesome line for fall 2011, and I can't wait to share it with you. I get home late tomorrow night and will be planning my road trip for the upcoming travel season. Just think, those of you who thought my perils in LA last October, and subsequent strange happenings in TX (lizard room mates, random border patrol searches, etc) - all these occurrences and more are about to start up again late February/early March.

This travelling mama is sure to have plenty of weird stories to report. So until then, in my best Ron Burgandy voice, "Stay Classy, internet readers."

Travel Horror Stories

Admit it, you have one... we all do. A friend of mine recently travelled to Europe. Upon her way back she was screened at London's Heathrow Airport. Apparently, answering the questions honestly can get you in a bit of a security snafu. You see, they had packed their bags, but then checked them into their cruiseline's cargo hold. So when asked if her bags had been out of her possession at all, she said yes. Enter the land of security shut down and intense questioning. Add to this that she was traveling with 3 kids under the age of 12 and you can only imagine the chaos that ensued.

Whilst laughing at her Facebook post today, I couldn't help but think back on a few of my travel oddities. You know, that little black cloud that follows me around - it doesn't take vacation, even when I do. Sure none of mine are nearly as entertaining as hers, but I thought I'd share:

*Take for example my honeymoon. Following a lovely wedding the hubs and I were off to beautiful, sunny Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Little did we know we were arriving the first day of monsoon season.  Yes, you read that correctly. Gazing out of the windows of our plane I knew we were off to a lush tropical paradise, complete with sparkly water and sandy beaches. We arrived and it wasn't exactly what I had pictured, but I was still excited to explore around. Down to the dining room we go... we are told we cannot sit on the patio - because those big, grey clouds in the distance were headed our way. Fantastic seafood dinner, everything going great. Then the storm hit. Just as we were leaving. We waded through water waist deep to get to our stairwell. A cactus - yes, an actual cactus - floated by along the way. In the morning when we headed to the beach, we discovered a wasteland. You see, the monsoons wash out all the dried riverbeds right onto the beach. Just a quick dip in the ocean and you were covered with unimaginable filth. Note to self: do not go to the beach in P.V. during the first two weeks of July. We spent about 10 days there... the beaches were finally clean on day 9. Lovely.

*Example two comes a few years later. I am terrified of flying. It usually takes some sort of anxiety meds and/or a couple glasses of wine for me to fly. I had neither when we went to Disney World in 2004. I'd flown to Disney a couple times without incident. But for some reason, this particular trip I didn't fare too well. On the way home, looking out at the Gulf of Mexico between Orlando and New Orleans I freaked. I had a massive panic attack and was convinced I was traveling in the metal death trap. We were not scheduled to get off the plane when we stopped in the Big Easy... but I did. Our short flight home turned into a long drive in an overpriced rental. The hubs will never let me live that one down.

*Then there was the trip to Croatia in 2006. It was relatively uneventful. We flew on frequent flier miles, so our options on flights were limited to whatever they had for points. We had a 10 hour layover at JFK. The kids handled this ok. They surprisingly slept in the airport. But, when we went to check through security we had a lovely surprise. Apparently, middle child was flagged to be randomly searched. Umm... he was 3.5. What, you think the Mickey Mouse backpack he had filled with stuffed animals, books and dinosaurs was suspicious? We were actually accused for a few minutes of changing the information and trying to pass him off as the hubs. Umm... we gave you the birth dates upon booking. We have all the proper documentation. The security guard was baffled. She'd never heard of them having to search a toddler before. But, policy is policy. So before we knew it I was ushered over to a room to the side and my little boy was being asked to hold his arms and legs out while they patted him down. Another guard took every item out of his backpack one at a time, inspected the items, and then returned them. During the process a very solemn J looks at the guard and very seriously says, "I not dangerous. I Jonathan." A quote we will forever tease him with.

So those were the three stories that I could quickly remember. There are plenty of other ridiculous tales I could report, but in the interest of time and space I won't bore you. I would; however, love to hear your most interesting travel story!