My Stint as a Hobo

I am neurotic enough to have quite a few travel rules. Those of you that know me, know I'm not a really flexible person - rather set some ground rules and then stick to them fairly heavily. So, the predicament I got myself into yesterday is somewhat surprising... and unfortunately a little comical considering it goes against everything in my nature.

You see, I find myself stuck in a hotel in Oklahoma City with nothing more than my work kit and the same clothes I wore yesterday. I finished with my client meetings early yesterday and since I've decided that Oklahoma isn't exactly my favorite vacation destination I thought it would be a nice treat to go home early. Of course, when does anything I do not consist of some sort of oddball shenanigans?

Long story short, I sat in the OKC airport on stand-by for about 9 hours. Planes came and went, many going to Denver... none with me on them. At one point I had somewhat of a mental breakdown, so spent the last few hours sitting there with raccoon eyes from smudged eyeliner/mascara. Here is where I should note that my clothing, make-up, shampoo, etc. has all made it to Denver... while I sit here with a disposable hotel toothbrush and stale coffee. Oh... and did I mention the same clothes I wore (and slept in) yesterday?

When the lady at the ticket desk said, "Oh, don't worry Mrs. Copic, we'll get you home today. Go ahead and check your bags and they'll meet you in Denver."  I should have insisted that I'd gate check everything. Some of you would say "why'd you check your clothes, you idiot? You should have sent your work kit." But that is where I'd say, "Any travelling salesman will tell you they never part with their kit. You can work in clothes from Target, you cannot sell wedding gowns based on drawings of a stickwoman in a poofy skirt." Next you'd ask, "Why didn't you go buy clothes from Target last night?" and I'd say "Because my GPS is in the suitcase that went to Denver and I couldn't venture to far from the airport for fear of never finding my way back!"

I had to sleep in the same dress I wore yesterday. I mean, it was that or sleep in the buff... and after the day I had it would be just my luck the hotel would catch on fire and I'd be standing outside in a bathtowel. If I'd lost the weight of a small wildabeast like I need to that might not be a horrible thing - but in the present state of my body we'll not go there.

And as I put my pantyhose back on this morning, I realized they somehow have a run in them. So yes, I'll be that lovely woman walking through the airport in the same clothes as yesterday, bedhead hair (and not the sexy bedhead) and holes in my stockings. I can't wait to get home and soak in my tub, use every Aveda product I have at my disposal on my hair and put some damn makeup back on! Hopefully the airport gift shop will have some crappy hairbrush I can pay a small fortune for and look a little less like a hobo.

Someone Actually Believed I'm Nice!

I know, that is a weird headline, but for those of you who know me well - you know I have a bit of an edge, I'm fairly blunt, and sugar coating things isn't always my strongest point. Blame it on my "half breed" status... I'm half Yankee, half Southerner. Sometimes the Yankee side gets the better of me.

Growing up in the South, I rebelled against our genteel ways. I was a bookworm, but I also liked to play in the dirt. I frequently had dirt under my nails and I didn't learn how to keep my hair presentable until adulthood - and sometimes "presentable" is still a questionable term. In fact, I went through a weird stage where I didn't want my Barbies to look like Barbies so I shaved off all their hair with my mom's razor. Afraid of what she might say, I stuffed the hair down the air vent in my room. She was much more angry about the fine silky Barbie locks floating around the room than she was the spiky buzz cuts I'd given them.

Once I hit college; however, I realized that there is something to Southern Charm. And, I'll be the first to admit - I frequently use it to my full advantage.

This past weekend I attended my company's sales meeting in California. Of course I was on my best behavior, and somehow that translated to the sales rep from the Northeast territory (also female) thinking I might have a hard time. You see, we are travelling sales reps for a bridal manufacturer. Six months a year I travel a seven state territory to place gowns in bridal shops. There's a lot of rejection. There's a lot of travel through the remote hinterlands of our country. There's 3 meals a day in sometimes questionable establishments. I love it. But, I travel the South/Southwest. I understand the mentality - and the idea that someone saying "Betty Sue, bless her heart, ...." may be a nice way of saying "Betty Sue, that stupid *&%$  idiot, ... "

So, getting back to my headline - over breakfast we were talking about different situations that could hit us out on the road. My counterpart turned, looked at me and said, "Do you think you're hard enough for this type of work? I mean, you seem to be a really good salesperson, but you're just too nice." I actually dropped my fork. I think coffee may have squirted from my nose, and I died laughing.

When we got to the office that morning, I told my boss. He died laughing too. You see, he grew up in Chicago. He's a somewhat hardened LA resident now. He told us of the first trip he took to the south. He described the average middle-income southern woman - perfect make-up, perfect hair, perfect nails, impeccable clothes and stylish shoes. Always smiling, nodding, speaking softly. How on that trip, he decided those soft spoken well mannered southern ladies were probably the most ruthless, scrappy group of women on the planet.

You see, we were taught to be a genteel group. To love our families, be excellent hostesses, and keep up appearances. But, we were also taught to look out for ourselves, be fiercely independent, and not to take anything from anyone. True southern women can cook you the most excellent meal you've ever eaten, take a leisurely stroll through the garden, and then, quite possibly, sharp shoot her way out of dodge.

Afterall, isn't it the quiet ones you have to watch the most?

Why can't it be 70 everywhere all the time?

After shovelling about a foot of snow off the driveway to get out, I find myself in sunny So Cal for a sales meeting for work. If it weren't for the pesky earthquakes, fires and mud slides I might actually like this area. It's a beautiful part of the country and the weather is gorgeous - especially if you're used to being blinded by the white glare of the sun bouncing off the snow.

For those of you that follow this who are also clients or industry friends - look out! We have an awesome line for fall 2011, and I can't wait to share it with you. I get home late tomorrow night and will be planning my road trip for the upcoming travel season. Just think, those of you who thought my perils in LA last October, and subsequent strange happenings in TX (lizard room mates, random border patrol searches, etc) - all these occurrences and more are about to start up again late February/early March.

This travelling mama is sure to have plenty of weird stories to report. So until then, in my best Ron Burgandy voice, "Stay Classy, internet readers."

First I was searched, then a lizard tried to sleep with me

This trip to Texas has been interesting, to say the least. I have done absolutely no sight seeing - just work. However, since it is me we're talking about there have been some interesting occurrences.

For instance driving from San Antonio to Brownsville I passed many highway patrol cars and border patrol agents. I didn't think anything about it, I am in south Texas after all... however, yesterday afternoon as I drove back to Corpus Christi from McAllen I had to stop at a mandatory checkpoint. Now, this is the first checkpoint I'd ever gone through. I didn't know what to expect. And of course, I have a vivid imagination. I see the drug dog sniffing the semis and the vehicles in front of me.... I start to wonder who's driven my rental car before me. And, was I about to end up in some third rate prison cell because Rin-Tin-Tin detected something from the freak that drove my car prior to me renting it! Of course my husband's friend who works in the Secret Service popped into mind. He lives down here somewhere. Would he vouch for me if I ended up in the clink? Do I know where he lives? Do I have his phone number? hmm... too late to think about him, it's now my turn. The nice border patrol agent tells me to keep my door closed, but pop the trunk and allow them to open all my doors. Fido hops in the trunk, then he sniffs around inside the car. The agent asks me where I'm going... I momentarily forget and point north. I stutter out, "ummm.... north.... San Antonio. I'm a sales rep for a bridal company. Visited Brownsville and McAllen today selling dresses." This was way more information than the dude asked, but I was nervous. And of course I can't be short and to the point even when I'm not. The guy obviously got that I was much to much of a geek to be a criminal so he waved me on and told me to be safe - and get a hotel before dark. Why do people keep telling me that here (and by that I mean my husband, my parents, my sister, the lady I work with in CA, the store owner I saw this morning, and now the border patrol guy)? Seriously - believe what you see on the news about the state of things in northern Mexico... according to one of my store owners it's much worse than the American public realizes (and yes, I will subject you to a blog on my meeting with her as soon as I can logically type it out).

So, since everyone now has me freaked out about driving after dark - not one of my usual phobias... and I have plenty of them, thank you very much - I head to Alice, TX for a room. Unfortunately this somewhat sleepy little town is completely booked. I tried three hotels that fit my criteria (I am weird, I require my hotel room to be nonsmoking, with all interior rooms - no drive up and park outside the doors anywhere on the property, prefer a king sized bed, and it must provide breakfast b/c that is more than likely the only meal I'm guaranteed to remember to eat until I figure out where I'm laying my head the next day). All were booked. I called a couple of my frequent sleeper programs to see what might be nearby. 25 miles south of me was a Hilton brand hotel - an executive suites Hampton Inn. This sounded promising. It was a little more than what I typically budget, but it's now getting dark and the border agent has warned me about roaming around.... even if I am 100+ miles north of him by now.  I give my billing information and head over to the property. I am in Kingsville, TX.

There is a branch of Texas A&M here, the famous Kings Ranch is here... these is cowboy country. I should be safe here, right? I get my room keys... I go upstairs. I open the door, the bathroom door is closed. Hmm... this is unusual. I've stayed in a lot of hotels the last 2 weeks - the door is never closed upon entry. I start thinking of the mass murderer who is hiding in there waiting to rape and kill me. I prop my suitcase in the main door so I can run out if necessary (keep in mind I'm in 4 inch stilettos so not sure how exactly I plan on running). I open the door... AND SCREAM. There, scurrying around in the floor is a LIZARD. It is not huge, probably about 5-6 inches long. It is brown with black stripes... and it appears to be furry. Who the hell ever heard of a FURRY lizard? I locked it back into the bathroom and called the front desk. They switched my room. I have no idea what happened to the lizard. But I can say that yesterday was not a good night's sleep. I kept thinking something was going to crawl/slither into my bed and bite me.

Needless to say, I head home tomorrow morning. The next 9 hours can't pass quickly enough so I can get back to Colorado. Who cares if it's cold... it's lizard free, and safe to wander about after dark!

Random Thoughts

How did I go from no job to many jobs? True, I still consider myself a stay at home mom, because I do work from home. But in the last two months I started working for a family business basically handling scheduling and billing from home. It's flexible, it's all done by computer and telephone, and it lets me raise the baby without having to rely on daycare - which is always a plus!

However, in the last few weeks I've been approached to assist in running a small political campaign back home, assist in designing a website (which I don't know if I can do, but I'm fairly certain I can follow the templates), and now I've been approached to work free-lance doing some press releases for a contact out here.

So my brain has begun to spin... you know, it's very seldom that it isn't spinning out of control. But, now I'm wondering - would it be possible to turn these freelance requests into an actual job? For those of you who may recall, I interviewed with a small public relations firm out here around the holidays. Timing for that wasn't quite right on either end. But that company was a husband and wife team who started a great business in their basement and have been able to steadily grow it over the years.

I know a LOT of people back home who did similiar things - running their own one-woman design or marketing  businesses out of their homes. So, why would I be any different? It's living the American dream, right? Working for yourself? True, there's the whole issue of billing, keeping up with time, making sure you don't bill the client for the time you had to feed and change your child.

So, for the next few weeks as I work on these various projects, I'm also going to start doing a little bit of research on the side. Talking to people who have done it, researching the market, figuring things out. Basically seeing if this is another hair-brained idea I've cooked up, or if it could have any meat to it.

Sorry that today's blog wasn't comical, whimsical, or anything that I started out saying it would be - but I had a need to get my idea out there... to see what others thought of it. Feel free to comment, mock, encourage, etc. I need all of the above to decide if it's a leap we're willing to attempt! We'll return to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow!