Recently, a big brew-ha-ha was made over a Catholic school here in Colorado kicking out a preschooler because the parents were a same-sex couple. The school said this went against their principals and they could not allow the child to attend. There was a swarm of fanfare and media coverage, people picketed.
I haven't heard the end result, but I'm fairly certain the child is still not allowed to return next year. My response to this? Good for the Church! I don't mean that rudely. Yes, I am Catholic. But, no I am not biased against same sex couples. I feel it is the institution's right and priviledge to allow whomever they chose into their doors. Just as it is anyone's right and priviledge to choose whether or not to support said institution.
Let me give you a personal history lesson.... I went to a small, private, Christian college in Arkansas. We had to sign a "Code of Conduct" before being admitted. It was college, we did not have uniforms. However, among the very long list of regulations we had to abide by were the following: we were not allowed to wear shorts before 3 p.m. (and never to class), boys could not have hair over their collars or any visible piercings (if they did they could not wear them on campus), drinking was strictly prohibited - even off campus - regardless of your age, couples could not have "relationships". A violation of the sex, drugs/alcohol clauses would subsequently get you kicked out of school and no tuition refund would be available. It was not a cheap school. The rules were strictly enforced.
For those who lived on campus (which about 90% did because you had to get school permission to live off campus - and even then you had to live within a certain mileage proximity, with an immediate family member and/or be over a certain age in your mid-twenties with no opposite sex roommates allowed) curfew was also strictly enforced.
Needless to say, I irked through - but I knew several who mysteriously went home for part of a semester and returned the following year. The particular religion of this school was also engrained upon it's students through required chapel and bible class attendance. You knew all these things going in. If you didn't agree with them, you didn't sign the contract and you didn't attend the school.
Was it always easy? No. Were there times when I wanted to tell the Administration they were full of it? Yes. Am I a better person for having the experience of such a rigorous education. YOU BETCHA! And, I'd do it all over again if I could go back in time. Sure, the rules made me angry at times. And, sure there were quite a few that I broke - although my "shroud of secrecy" will never be broken and I will not publicly admit to breaking any of them. I will pull a Bill Clinton, and demand to know the full definition of the question before answering. Then I will politically position myself to be teflon.
But, I digress. The point to that rambling message was that we knew before I stepped foot on campus what I was getting into. My children have attended private Catholic schools. Similiar contracts were required of them - they will attend mass and be exposed to the faith, they will wear uniforms, the school expects a certain standard followed by the parents. If the parents knew they didn't meet those standards why enroll the child? The Catholic church is one of the oldest religions in the world. Does one couple actually think they are going to change their view? Sure, you're in Boulder. Sure, it's one of the most liberal cities. That doesn't mean the Church is going to follow suit.
I say live your life as you wish to live it, but do not subject your child - who is an innocent in all of this - to become fodder for your own policital agenda. Growing up is hard enough without being turned into a pawn for your parents' views. Public institutions have to take everyone. The beauty of private institutions is they do not. I'm not saying they are always 100% correct, but they are free to make the rules as they see fit. There are plenty of non-denominational private schools out there who do not care what your orientation is; however, they have very strict admissions and cirriculum policies. Nobody is picketing them. Leave the private institutions alone, and let them have the dignity to operate as they have for centuries.
I couldn't have written this better myself! I attended a Catholic school. (My dad is Catholic.) They were very clear with my parents with what I would and would not be required to do. I had to attend Mass. I didn't have to "participate" as far as making the sign of the cross, kneeling, etc. I could sit quietly and respectfully through the service, but I did have to be present. In Religion class, I could ask questions, have respectful discussions, etc. but if a real "issue" came up, I should talk about it with the teacher privately. And it all went JUST FINE. I didn't have to agree with all of it but by being enrolled there, I was agreeing to live with it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've said the same thing over and over again about our college. Who cares if the rules are stupid? You agreed to go there. People said "Well, this was the only place my parents would pay for me to go." SO? If you can't live with the rules, figure something else out. (FYI: My dad refused to pay for my college. He said he would sell his soul for me to go to Notre Dame but he wouldn't give me a penny for HU. I made the choice on my own to go to HU and deal with the consequences... ie student loan debt out the wazzoo!)
So yes, I also take issue with these parents putting their child in that position. The fact that they are a same-sex couple isn't the issue. They could easily be a couple of another faith or the "wrong" political party or whatever. You don't put your child in a private institution just to cause a scene if you have a choice to do otherwise. And if you don't have a choice (like you feel strongly about private school but there are no secular ones available or something) you agree to go with the flow and discuss the "issues" with your child at home. Typically the parents at private schools are required to participate in fundraising to make up for the lack of public funding... so why can't a private institution have some say in who is representing them? (Don't these people watch Entourage?!)
Sorry for the LOOOONG comment but this is one of those "hot button" issues for me since I've been through it on many sides. You know what you sign up for. If you can't live with it, move along. That's the beauty of America. You can be whatever you want to be. But so can everyone else. Be a same-sex couple. If a public institution discriminates against you or your child for it, sue them!! If a private institution does it, stop giving them your money.